Saturday, November 6, 2010

GameInformer's December Issue Cover Revealed: Holy Panorama, Batman!

GameInformer. I haven't had an issue come from them in over a year. Still, something like this comes up, and I get all giddy inside.

GI has employed the talents of one Sam Spratt - a guest-artist for Gizmodo, and a bomb-ass flaming Master Chief wallpaper-worthy mural - and has cranked out this wondrous beauty. It has characters from some of the more pivotal games from the past decade, and the only thing I can complain about are what characters they chose to represent their respective games.

GI did say that prints will be available at a later date for purchase. They didn't say when, how large or how much, but if I can get one that's 2' x 15', I'm so fucking down.

With all the praise, there has to be some criticism. For a taste-test, Spratt surely could have splurged for a fourth spread and included some other characters from other games that definitely deserve a spot amongst the others.

For the rest of the bitch-fest - plus the breakdown of the 31 character-deep spread, with a handful of props strewn about - check past the break.

There are a handful that I'm concerned with their inclusion.

For starters, I wholeheartedly agree with Assassin's Creed, but why Ezio and not Altaïr? Just because Ubisoft hasn't gone back to his timeline and has whored out Ezio's doesn't mean he's the better of the two. Sure, dual hidden blades packed with a gun is a hell of a lot better, but...fuck. I just downplayed my own argument. On to the next one!

Where's Gordon? Why is Alyx there? Sure, she looks like Rosario Dawson on a good day, and I don't mind staring her down when I'm playing Half-Life, but Gordon is the face behind the game, despite his face never actually being seen in-game.

Finally, there seems to be quite a lot of double-characters going on. The Illusive Man and Shepard are both from Mass Effect, John Marston and Bonnie are both from Red Dead Redemption, and Nathan Drake and Elena are both from Uncharted. Again, I do not doubt any of these game's inclusion in the spread, but why two characters?

I'm sure there could have been three other game series that debuted in the 00's or had an incredibly influential/remarkable/bad-ass entry in it's respective series with an iconic character representin': Fable (Theresa would have been nice), Gears of War (Marcus Fenix) and Splinter Cell (Sam Fisher). All three debuted, all three were hailed as amazing games that either helped influence other games in it's respective genre or simply did something others didn't think of.

Wander (Shadow of the Colossus)
KOS-MOS (Xenosaga)
Ethan Mars (Heavy Rain)
Illusive Man (Mass Effect)
--What is that on the table?--
Professor Layton (self-title series; portrait)
Master Chief
Phoenix Wright (self-title series; portrait)
Commander Shepard (Mass Effect)
Alyx Vance (Half-Life)
Raz (Psychonauts)
--Orange Portal--
--Gravity Gun--  
--Blue Portal--
GLaDOS (Portal)
Andrew Ryan (BioShock)
--"Would You Kindly?" quote--
The Boss (Metal Gear Solid 3)
Tim (Braid)
Nathan Drake (Uncharted)
--Phurba Dagger--
Elena Fisher (Uncharted)
Ezio Auditore (Assassin's Creed II)
King of Cosoms (Katamari)
John Marston (Red Dead Redemption) 
Bonnie MacFarland (Red Dead Redemption)
Jimmy Hopkins (Bully)
Captain Price (Modern Warfare)
Kaim (Lost Odyssey)
:Who the fuck is this guy?:
Kratos (God of War)
Tommy Vercetti (GTA: Vice City)
Niko Bellic (GTA IV)
Jade (Beyond Good & Evil)
Auron (Final Fantasy X)