Friday, January 29, 2010

Bought my self the Morphie Juice Pack Air for the iPhone

I got sick of having my iPhone's battery nearly die on me at work while working the basement post, virtually void of any cell service. With no service and push mail, my phone is constantly attempting to push and receive date, as well as attempt a cell tower connection. Since it can't find one, it constantly searches for one, draining my battery. It's jailbroken, I have Backgrounder installed (only running default apps; I always close out those that I need to background for a hot second), and I only have 3G turned on. No bluetooth, wi-fi or location services. I know how to care for my battery's longevity.

However, being fed up, I stopped by Best Buy and scored the Morphie Juice Pack Air. It's $80, but it - supposedly - doubles the life of the iPhone's battery, while adding a good heft of weight and a few millimeters to the thickness. I won't be able to fully test it until I work another 12-hour basement post shift - which is Tuesday - so until then, this $80 case is just sitting on the table, waiting for it's day.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Destroyed Controller Logo: Anyone wanna help?

I hate seeing that orange blogger 'B' for my logo. It's ugly. I need something new. I have no Photoshoppin' skills at all, so I'm asking the itty-bitty bit of people who pass by through here to come up with something, if you care at all to do such a thing.

Elements? Well, considering the blog is called "Destroyed Controller," I figured using that as a reference point. A simple, elegant, font-based logo without too much jazz going on, and a teeny-tiny square one for the browser address bar and RSS feeds.

Too much to ask for? Ehh, what's the worst that could happen? I might actually get something.

What's that, a reward you're asking for? Little Johnny, listen, I'm a small time blogger with big dreams for my game developing skills that I still need to develop (ironic, no?), so there's not much I can offer other than the site's life span's worth of gratitude.

kthxbai

[FOLLOW-UP] Gamer Grub: I need a new hat

For a few days, me and Keith Mullin, the man behind Gamer Grub, have been exchanging emails in regards to my original post about the snack food. Keith is very passionate about his product, and to ensure that people try it and that they will like it, he offered to send me samples of the two flavors that are out right now: Pizza and PB&J. I respectively declined his offer, saying that I will gladly pay for his product for the opportunity to try it out.

As stated in my original post, I paid the $13 from Amazon to have two bags delivered. During my Assassin's Creed II: Battle of Forli DLC binge, the package arrived. I've managed to get half way through the bag, and I found this:




Yes, that's right, my own words. I am eating my words right now, because Gamer Grub is pretty damned tasty.

Check out the transcripts of the email conversation after the break.

God of War III hits March 16



Only a week off of my prediction, Sony announced through it's blog that God of War III will be released on March 16. My prediction put it day and date with Final Fantasy XIII, which, in retrospect, probably wasn't a good idea.

Also released were the official box art for the game, as well as the box for the Ultimate Edition. You know, where you get your own Pandora's Box.



[Via PlayStation.blog]

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Gamer Grub: WTF?




I saw this in Planet Xbox 360's "Top 10 Unhealthy Things to Eat While Gaming," and while a few I questioned their "unhealthy" label, there was one food that stood out as a "WTF" moment.

It's listed as a "bonus" food after #1 - which happens to be a bullish energy drink - and the entire advert sounds like, well, an ad:


Bonus. Gamer Grub: with Gamer Grub, the first performance snack formulated especially for gamers. Great tasting flavors, Handheld packaging, No keyboard crumbs, No greasy fingers; Gamer Grub is a great tasting snack mix packed with select vitamins and neurotransmitters supporting fast cognitive performance. We have tried Gamer Grub at a number of different gaming events and each time we walked away pleased with what the snack had to offer, find out how to purchase some for yourself by clicking here. 

Yes, that entire paragraph is an ad. They - Gamer Grub - probably paid less money to have them write a small paragraph than providing them with ad material, such as flash ads, and making them sound like fools, linking to the site, and saying things like "packed with select vitamins and neurotransmitters supporting fast cognitive performance." Who the hell talks about food that way, unless they're being paid, or part of the PR team. It feels like I'm watching those awkward moments from The Truman Show.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Kotaku Readers make Heavy Rain box art magic

Another gem caught by my RSS feeds' net, Kotaku asked it's readers to submit their own 'shopped Heavy Rain box art. My favorite one? The Playboy bunnies, number 6.

Some are supposed serious renders, and others, well, obvious jokes and making fun of SCEA's decision to alter the box art to focus on tits.

[Via Kotaku]

[REVIEW] Darksiders

Here we are, the apocalypse. A game that takes the best from many, highly regarded, legendary, god-like games, and crams them all into one package. Notice there isn't any sort of adjective for "package." That's because, well, I'm not sure as to what word I can - or should - use for this game. Darksiders is a game wholly it's own, purely for it's premise: You are War, the second horseman, betrayed by the sacred pact that was formed between Hell and Heaven, seeking revenge on those who brought the EndWar against the Third Kingdom and caused Armageddon.

Sounds fucking epic, right? Well, not so much. The game's story is incredibly interesting on paper, and they do a fairly decent job of keeping your interest after the prologue chapter. However, the only thing that keeps this game going is the promise of swinging your sword about, lopping off heads and arms of anything that simply looks at you. Between the beginning and end, there is absolutely nothing of interest in regards to the story, the world can be forgotten as soon as the game is turned off, and most of the characters you meet are very forgettable as well. Case in point, I don't remember the name of the specter that is magically bound to you that follows you around, and I just beat the game today, no less than 20 minutes ago. I do know Mark Hamill voices him - that's Luke Skywalker to you youngin's - and that was a treat.

Gameplay wise, this game is the game that will tide you over until God of War III hits in March, and that will do some damage until Zelda drops at the end of the year, or maybe even early next year (moreof the latter option will be the most likely). Darksiders slams together ideas and elements introduced, experimented and proven from three series that I witnessed: Legend of Zelda, Prince of Persia, and Devil May Cry. Why DMC instead of GoW? Because your Kratos wouldn't be here if it weren't for Dante. This clash of series and franchises proves to be very fun, however, it does over-saturate the intention, and it really, sadly feels just like this:


Friday, January 22, 2010

My iPhone game "collection" has surpased my DS



Sad, really. And the game to set the imbalance off? Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars. The fucking irony.

As seen on my Playfire.com collection home screen. Find me: NintendoTim.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

New Zelda to be Majora's Mask sequel?


I don't want to be one to draw such brash conclusions, but this is a wild one that Joystiq has seemed to pick up on.

It all started at 2chan, a website/message board that apparently gotten a hold of leaked details on the new Zelda game. An IGN Boards member - sharinganhero - translated the Japanese bibble-babble into something the rest of us can read, and gotten a pretty good chunk of info. As The Wiire points out, 2chan has a very good track record. They have had accurate leaks in regards to Resident Evil 4 and 5, "every Square Enix RPG," Metal Gear Solid 4 and every Kingdom Hearts game. It's also good to point out they successfully leaked Wind Waker's story 2 months before it was made official:

  1. The game will not follow the classic dungeon-field-dungeon style gameplay of every other Zelda game, which has been confirmed by Eiji
  2. You can choose between left or right-handed modes, and Link will change his stance to conform to this choice
  3. Basic mechanics and gameplay elements are done, they are just working on story, dungeons and characters. One character is an inn keeper with her young son, who looks up to Link, who lives with them
  4. The Zora-looking girl, who has been rumored to actually be the Master Sword, judging by her looks, is actually not the Master Sword, and there are no plans for Link to obtain the sword. Her name is Aderu (most likely the Japanese pronunciation), but may also be Adelle or Adella (their speculation) for Western audiences (my speculation). She doesn't follow the same suit as Navi/Ezlo/Midna, as she's seldom seen with you. Also, that's not her face in the artwork.
  5. Link's main weapon is a sword, but with different abilities that are unlocked as the game progress, which Aderu communicates to Link through
  6. Horseback combat is making a return, however, Epona (it's not sure if it really is Epona or not) is actually smarter when it comes to avoiding shit
  7. Link, Epona and Goron character models have all been enhanced, but other possible character/races haven't been confirmed or denied
  8. This Link is the Hero of Time, possibly grown up the Majora's Mask half of the Ocarina of Time timeline clusterfuck (more on that from me later)
  9. Time travel returns, but no elaborations were made
  10. Hyrule is not the main world - or - Hyrule is not the only world

    Head past for my speculation.

    Angry reader emails me about 4 year old Resident Evil 4 guide [UPDATED]

    [UPDATE] I received an email in response from David to mine, apologizing:

    sorry if i came out as a bit hostile, i was just having a bad day, and when i saw your guide, i thought maybe it would show me what i wanted to know.
    i see however, you have researched your guide, and maybe you could do a treasures and keys guide aswell? i would love to lend a hand in describing where all the treasures are that i can remember.
    and i remember everything lol.

    sorry if i ofended you.
    hoping you are well, and all that other shit.
    david

    He blames it on having a bad day. Ok, so maybe you were having a bad day; there's no way for me to say you weren't. He admits that my guide is "researched" and wants me to take this to another level and do a treasures guide. He also wants to help. Sorry, but not interested; it's been 4 years since RE4 and I'm ready for RE5's Gold Edition, as well as thumbing through Zelda and iTablet rumors.


    I received an email late last night from a reader - not a blog reader - who has some...distaste towards a guide I wrote for Resident Evil 4. Specifically, I wrote a Version Difference Guide, detailing differences between the GameCube and PS2 versions of the game. Here's what he had to say:

    hello, my name is david "kinda obvious from my email addy", and i wanted to tell you, that your FAQ,whatsitcalled on resident evil four, has more holes in it then swiss cheese... i got sick of your mistakes by the time i read ur bit on the blacktails firepower on exclusive... IT IS NOT 3.4, IT IS 4.5 ON THE GAMECUBE. and i should bloody well know, seeing as ive finished it about 28 times now, and im playing it again on pro mode, 3rd round.
    i cannot have any opinions on seperate ways, or several of the parts wich the GC misses out on, but i am sick to death of all your mistakes... i will read your guide again, and make a list on the mistakes. i will also give you all the corrections for your mistakes.

    but you also forgot to mention something, that even my 4 year old nephew knows... leon looks totally awesome when he wears his pimp suit, and sits in saddlers throne. you forgot that... and you also forgot to mention that once you stand up from that chair, you also look directly above the doorway you came in from, and a treasure becomes painfully obvious as it is just HANGING above the doorway.

    i wish i could get the pimp suit on the GC version... ahwell, illhave to get a wii and buy the wii version.

    thank you for reading this. i look forward to sending you the full and complete list of all your GC vers mistakes.


    This is a copy/paste of his email; I have not altered it in any way. Notice near the end he mentions his 4-year old nephew. For fuck's sake, why are you letting your 4-year old nephew watch you play Resident Evil 4?

    Well, I retaliated in the best way: professionalism. Head past the break for my response.

    Wednesday, January 20, 2010

    Halo: Reach beta video surfaces of main menu, debunked by myself



    I caught this on Kotaku, watched, and was quick to discourage the entire thing by the use of just one word: "Exclusivity."

    You see, that word appears in the opening of the video just past the Bungie logo appearance in the text field as if Bungie is addressing you, the gamer. In it, they state "Halo: Reach, launching exclusivity on Xbox 360 later this year." Notice the problem? It should read "exclusively on Xbox 360 later this year," not the aforementioned. Here's a screenshot:


    See it? First word on the third line. Come on, random YouTube guy. Learn how to proof-read!

    Also, why would Bungie have to remind us that Halo: Reach is exclusive to the 360? Do they really need to remind us of this fact? Do we think that Halo has defected to the PS3?

    Sorry, but I'm not buying it. 1-starred on YouTube.

    Original Article - Xbox-Evolved
    Source - Kotaku

    Tuesday, January 12, 2010

    Heavy Rain's US Boxart is Different


    See that? On the left, you have the UK box art for Heavy Rain. On the right, the US. See the difference? Just in case you don't, here it is:

    Tits.

    Moreover, wet, soppy, water soaked tits. You've still got the origami piece on there, but far less prominent, possibly simply holding up aforementioned tits.

    This was unveiled over at Sony's PlayStation.blog, where I posted my disgust for it (post #122):

    @ Christian Cardona – Thank you so much for offering the UK box art for download when the game launches. I, for one, believe the very simplistic, yet powerful, artwork chosen for the UK release is far better than the US release.

    The only reason I can give for the move is to add a dash of sex appeal to the game to get more people to consider the purchase. The game’s initial sales may not be all that hot compared to Indigo Prophecy, but word of mouth will get that ball rolling; I bought Indigo Prophecy at launch, but got a handful of others to buy it simply because of my word.

    This falls in-line with Nintendo’s decision to make Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks boxart for the NA release more…violent, or edgy, given Link is angrily grasping his sword, as opposed to the happy-go-lucky allure he has on the UK boxart, riding the Spirit Train.

    Bad move on the art change. It won’t change the fact I’m buying this, of course, but I will be downloading that file and tossing the US artwork in favor of the UK’s.

    It's still "awaiting moderation," despite another comment appear just after mine.

    There is good news to get from this: they will offer a downloadable image of the UK's artwork for you to print off and use, if you choose to. They say to keep your eye on the blog around the time of launch, so expect yours truly to have it bookmarked, a tab for it always open and an itchy download finger on the mouse.

    [PlayStation.blog]

    Monday, January 11, 2010

    [ANSWER ME, DAMMIT] Thrice's "Beggars" vinyl release: What colors were used in the pressings? [UPDATED]



    I'm after each color that Thrice released the "Beggars" vinyl on, however, I do not know how many colors they were pressed on.

    I know of five: Yellow, Red, Blue, Green and Clear/White; I've seen each of these on eBay, I own the yellow, and my girlfriend has red. My cousin tells me there are also Black and Orange, however, I have yet to see these anywhere. I can see all of these colors making sense, seeing as if you were to take a gander at the artwork used for the album, you'll notice all of these colors appear on it.

    If anyone can tell me what colors there are, it would be greatly appreciated.


    Yes, I took the concept of this post from Kotaku's Tell Us, Dammit articles.

    UPDATE: I did some hardcore Googling, and found this over at Bands on Fire:
    Limited Edition - 2000 Numbered Copies
    (with Autographed Booklet & Download Card)


    400+ Green
    300+ Blue
    300+ Mint
    300+ White / Clear mixed
    250+ Red
    250+ Mustard Yellow
    99 (or less) Clear
    45 (or less) Purple

    Standard Edition
    (not numbered, not autographed, and no download card
    )

    200+ with little bit of colors from the above


    Fuck-ing-a...

    Wednesday, January 6, 2010

    [CES 2010] Microsoft off to a great start...

    I'm following Engadget's liveblog of Microsoft's CES keynote, and they're having a "small power problem." Half of the screens onstage have died, and they are manually restarted computers. With all the Windows-based computers, expect the keynote to start...tomorrow.

    ::zing::

    Friday, January 1, 2010

    Best of 2009

    Here's my favorite games of 2009. I'm not doing genres or any crap like that, unless I feel motivated. And I'm doing system-exclusive games for each system.

    The eligible systems for 2009 are: Xbox 360, Xbox Live Arcade, PS3, PlayStation Network, Wii, DS, Multi-Platform (Console), Multi-Platform (Handheld), Biggest Disappointment and Game of the Year. You'll be quick to notice that there is no PSP category. Seeing as the only PSP game I bought this year was Chinatown Wars, and I'm only rating system-exclusive games, the PSP has been excluded.

    Head past the break for the winners.

    New Releases : January : Holiday 2009, The Sequel



    The month of January is always a welcomed one. It marks the start of a new year, and in this case, a new decade, and it's also a month that game publishers will dump their games if a more powerful game was released in November that will surely shit all over their sales.

    Modern Warfare 2

    This month is merely the beginning to what is now being referred to as a "dumping ground" for Modern Warfare 2's pitiful attempts at competition.

    Tuesday, January 5
    Bayonetta (360, PS3)
    Darksiders (360, PS3)

    Wednesday, January 13
    Serious Sam HD (XBLA, PSN)

    Monday, January 18
    Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (WiiWare)

    Tuesday, January 19
    Dark Void (360, PS3)

    Wednesday, January 20
    *Assassin's Creed II DLC: Battle of Forli (XBLM, PSN)

    Tuesday, January 26
    MAG (PS3)
    No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle (Wii)

    Thursday, January 28
    Assassin's Creed II DLC: Battle of Forli (XBLM, PSN; $4)


    *These releases have an expected release date of January, however, no date is set. These are simply my predictions. I will update, of course, when the dates are revealed